Well, today was the day that all parents love and hate; Report Card Day. If you have a good relationship with the teacher there should be no surprises but I do love the jargon. I’m sure that to most parents, apart from the actual grade your kid receives, the rest is techno-babble. I have been very linked in to the teaching profession for many years and I will share some translations from my own kids report cards. Judge for yourself.
- “Recently, Milo has struggled with staying on task in the classroom and this can affect getting his work done…” Translation: The huge amount of homework that you kid is lugging home everyday is because he is too busy yakking with his friends to finish things on time.
- “Milo is often the leader of the group and helps to keep the group organized and on task.” Translation: Your kid likes to be the boss and likes to control what the group is doing.
- “Maya has participated vigorously in physical games…” Translation: Your child has a take no prisoners attitude during PhysEd.
- “Maya has shown persistence and patience while learning new skills…” Translation: Thank God your kid doesn’t scream and cry as much as the other kids.
- “Milo excels in balancing but needs to improve his hand-eye coordination.” Translation: While he can stand up very well, he catches the ball with his face much more often than with his hands.
Don’t get me wrong. There were no marks less than a “B” on any of our report cards and I am proud of both kids. It’s not like when I was in grade 5 and my mom came to the school and the principal said “It must be so hard on you, Mrs. CivilServantDad, with your son having such bad migraines. It seems like every time we have PhysEd he misses out.” A whole term of dramatic personae was lost in that one simple exchange. I too caught the ball with my face much more often than with my hands. Damn genetics.