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Tag Archives: football
Portugal vs. Russia
Ginger states, “I don’t care about Pissov, Jackov or Jerkov. They can all Fuckov. Hey Christiano. I love the hair.”
Fulham vs. Chelsea
Scruffy moans, “Oh no! I think I pulled my groin getting up here. Quickly, send over Eva Carneiro to give me some treatment. Hurry!!!”
Bayern Munich vs. Nurnberg
Ginger observes, “You know now that they’ve won the league everything else is just masturbation. I, for one, don’t watch other people masturbate!”
Man City vs. Man U (at half-time)
Belinda says, “Oh God. I can’t look away.”
Ginger say, “If I sneak up on it, I might be able to tap the ball in for City.”
Belinda moans, “It’s on PVR, stupid. Sheesh, kittens.”
U-6 Niagara Sky Blue vs. U-6 Niagara Orange
Under-dog Sky Blue soccer team sliced the division leader Orange team tonight in a humiliating 7-3 defeat. Sky Blue had been forced to play a double header today and had been frustrated by 2nd ranked U-6 Maroon earlier in a 2 – nil defeat. Sky Blue’s victory was led by Twin Boy #1 who scored a crushing 4 goals and assisted by Twin Boy #2 who had his own 2 goals. In a surprising twist, Tall Quiet Goalie gave up his usual spot and scored the final goal. Twin Girl #1 and #2 shared goal tending duties and maintained good focus while most of the action was in the opposition’s half. The score was nearly 8 – 3 but #7 Girl with the Same Name as Twin Boy #2 missed a penalty chance. She did however put in a fantastic effort defending against her counter part Orange’s #7 Really Fast Girl. Really Fast Girl was held to a single Orange goal tonight and was openly frustrated almost earning a yellow card for pushing. Sky Blue’s #10 Coach’s daughter (Maya) assisted on several goals and unfortunately was taken off in the final minutes of the game after turning her ankle. She will miss no future games and was healed by the promise of some chips when she got home. Notable mentions go out to Sky Blue’s 8 inches Shorter Than The Other Kids Girl and Equally Short But Fast Boy for playing a strong pressing game against the opposing relative giants. Sky Blue Coach (Me) is super pleased with today’s outcome and equally pleased that he didn’t need the defibrillator after running the pitch for 2 consecutive games.
I love coaching kids soccer.
Bayern Munich vs. Juventis
Riley says, “I don’t care how great this game is. I was outside. Outside! Do you know how cold it was? Two sad looking brass monkeys wandered through the yard. That’s how cold it was.”
