The Results May Vary

Observations from my Mixed Up World


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An Unexpected Loyalty Program

I’m note entirely sure where the idea came from, but Maya launched her own loyalty program yesterday. I answered a question from her and was rewarded with a coupon for 100 Maya bucks. Later during the evening while I was watching soccer, Maya asked for a snack. Since I paused the DVR and made her something, I received 1000 Maya bucks for my troubles. Both my wife and Milo are similarly amassing small piles of Maya bucks for various reasons.

When my wife and I inquired about about how we were to use our Maya bucks, we were informed that they can be used to “purchase” various commodities and services from her. In fact, we were told to refer to the program booklet which was quickly written up and provided for our reference. It seems that 100 Maya bucks can be traded for setting the table or having her play in her room for 1/2 hour. Not so bad. 1000 Maya bucks can be used to have Maya undertake a new habit for a week such as putting socks in the laundry basket or putting her lunch box on the counter at the end of the school day. 1000 Maya bucks is not enough incidentally to cover such things as eating her entire supper for a week, cleaning up her whole room once, or to go to the basement alone.

Here is the list of things I’m checking out for the Maya bucks price:

– Putting on a new pair of underwear each day for a week
– Returning my hairbrush to the bathroom each day
– Not singing in the car when her mom is in it (5 minute interval)
– Flushing the toilet after each use for one day
– Keeping a clear path to her bedside each night so I can walk her back to bed without fear of a crippling injury
– Turning down the microphone while she is singing (2 songs)
– Not arguing about which coat/mitts/hat should be worn to school (once, oh God, just once)

Wish me luck in accumulating my fortune.


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Dear Hostile Soccer Father…

Dear Sir, (I use the term loosely)

I’d like to express to you how little I appreciated how at today’s game you stormed up to me at half time and started yelling at me in front of the kids and parents.  The way you thrust your brawny chest into my face and looked down at me through your manly mirrored sunglasses was rather threatening and something that belongs in a prison yard not a soccer field.  I am well aware that it is disappointing when your child sits out two rotations during a game.  Of course, since I am rotating the kids about every 4 – 6 minutes, I doubt that I inflicted any lasting psychological damage on her.  In fact, I rather like her and think she is a good player.  Unfortunately, when she refused to go on the field and play in goal, I was forced to make some extremely quick on-the-fly changes and didn’t feel that the other 11 kids on our team plus the 12 kids on the opposing team should be forced to wait while I adjust to the fact that she didn’t want to be a team player.  The fact that this is the 12th of 13 games this season and it is the first time you’ve felt the need to bully me; well it makes me think that up until now I’ve done a pretty good job.  In case you were unaware, I am a volunteer and no one else on the team felt willing to step up and either coach or help me out.  You may be ignorant of the fact that managing 12 excited 8 year old kids without any assistance is no small feat.  On professional teams, which I figure you think your kid must be on, there is a whole crew to keep everything going along smoothly.  Here in house league… there is no such entourage.

In closing, I’d like to encourage you to step up and do something to help the team and not stand at the side line feeling superior and pointing out things you don’t like.

Sincerely, Coach Civil Servant Dad


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IMTA Log: Day Five – Awards Dinner

The end has finally come.  The last event of IMTA NYC 2013.  It will be the first time we’ve actually had a proper dinner since we got here and I think the whole agency is starving.  The best thing about having a dinner with models is that no one is fighting for the extra buns on the table.  Here’s to those avoiding carbs.  Our meal was excellent and I have to commend the NY Hilton for a great meal and superior service.  I was impressed that they served 2000 meals and everyone got theirs hot.

Geoffrey Chapman Agency fared very well at the final awards banquet with 3 people winning honourable mentions (top 10 in their categories), 2 scholarships and one top 5 finisher.  Hooray for George, Riley, Milo, JoAnne, Nick and Melinda for their achievements.  Here are some photos.

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Steve and Nick discuss the best route to storm the stage.

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Melissa floats along the red carpet.

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Milo and my wife pose with the winner of the “who’s our next daddy” competition – Justin.

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Melinda off to LA with a full scholarship to something…

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IMTA Log: Day Five – Callbacks

Congratulations to all of us from Geoffrey Chapman Agency.  Everyone in our group got some callbacks from agents and managers.  Riley got the most with something like 28 callbacks and Milo had a very respectable 13.  His callbacks were mostly in the talent category and a split between NYC and LA based agents.  Wonder what a callback is like?  Imagine about 1000 people in a large room full of tables.  It’s hot.  Most tables have line ups of between 3 and 200 people all waiting to see that very desirable agent or manager.  Then you basically start to speed date.  Some have forms to fill out, some want to see you act out a scene or a monologue, some need you to sing.  The NY agents/managers tended to be the owners or presidents of the firms while the LA reps were just that.

I’ve got to say that everyone was very polite and tried to keep things moving as much as possible.  Most of Milo’s best responses were from NYC based agents so we’ll have quite a bit of work following up once we get home.


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IMTA Log: Day 4

Today was a big day for everyone.  All of the competitions were open so there were audiences for each one.  A new element of pressure.  As a parent, I think it was harder on us than on the contestants.  Until now, it’s been a leap of faith to send the kids off to compete behind closed doors.  Today we got to see how well they actually did, how quick the judging was and we got to size up the other competitors.  The level of talent here is so high.  Everyone here deserves to be here.  Milo competed in Monologue, Sitcom and was a finalist for singing at the Talent Showcase tonight.    After the showcase came awards for individual competitions.  Here are some photos.

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Milo rocks with his 3 awards.

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Steve shows off his star.

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Alejandra and Melinda ready to rock.

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Nick – modelling superstar with 5 awards!

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Riley accepts congratulations for her win.

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George accepts congratulations from his many admirers.


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IMTA Log: Day Two

Day two at IMTA has been pretty exhausting.  Exhilarating but very long and it’s only 6pm.  I must be getting old.  We started the day off with a great seminar on the business of acting in LA.  Lots of great questions and some good insider tips.

We had lunch at our favourite Cafe Metro.  But before that we saw the women’s jeans competition and rushed back for the men.  Here are some photos.

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Justin is the hunk above this photo.

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They may look like models, but actually my wife and I got some quick plastic surgery last night.  You believe me, don’t you???

Milo competed in head shot and screen test today.  He really stood out among the boys in his category.  I’ll post the video clip on YouTube soon.

Tonight we are off on the Circleline tour of Manhattan.